THERE IS SEX BEYOND PENETRATION.

I had an intimate discussion with a certain woman recently and she told me her husband was involved in a motor accident that left him paralyzed and he could no longer have sex with her. She said she loved the man so could not afford to cheat on him but at the same time, wondered if she could stay without sex for the rest of her life.

I reminded this woman that there are two types of sex: Partner and solo sex. “If you cannot have sex with your husband, what stops you from having sex with yourself?” I asked her.

She was confused at first and I had to break it down for her and eventually, she realized I was talking about masturbation. 

Like most people, she had masturbated before but in her case, she always feels guilty about it. She grew up as a church girl with the “masturbation is a sin” mantra preached by the church fully entrenched in her subconscious. But I made her realize that masturbation was designed by nature as an alternative to partner sex and where that had become impossible as in her present situation, masturbation was the obvious way out. It is politically correct in all ramifications and that the Bible did not in portion mention masturbation as a bad thing or “sin” as evangelicals would want us to believe.

“But it cannot be like the real sex,” she said at last.

“It can be like the real sex if not better,” I told her. “It all depends on your state of mind and what you do when you masturbate. In fact, many women will tell you they don’t have orgasm from sex but they always do when they masturbate. Yes, you may not have the body-to-body intimacy as well as the sweet talks that you get from sex with a partner, but masturbation has its advantages as well. It can be very intense and tends to be sweeter for most women.”

I further advised this woman to get her husband involved in masturbation. This I said would serve two purposes. First, it would make her feel less guilty about masturbating and secondly, it will reintroduce sexual intimacy to their marriage. “Sexuality is not all about the penis penetrating the vagina,” I told her. “Sexuality is far broader than that. The fact that your husband is physically challenged does not mean it is over for him sexually. There is sex beyond penetration. You can have a rewarding session of mutual masturbation where he masturbates you with his hands or tongue while you do same to his organs. A lot of men with spinal cord injury or on wheelchair for other reasons can still have a partial erection that enables them to masturbate especially when a woman is helping them out.”

I suggested other things to the woman that she and her husband can do together in bed and more importantly, how different types of sex toys can be of help to them.

She was really impressed with everything I told her and perhaps for the first time since her husband had the accident, it occurred to her that all was not lost as far as sexual intimacy between her and her husband was concerned. She promised to do all that I advised and give me feedback.

I have not heard from the lady but I am sure the feedback will be positive. Handled properly, the husband will feel wanted and not abandoned. He will be reassured of his wife’s fidelity and love. Believe me, such positive energy springing from the man will not only help their relationship but provide the building blocks for his healing process.  

OUR WOMEN HAVE GONE BALD.*

Like I always say, whenever two to three men are gathered in the name of beer, their discussion is usually about women and sex.  Even if they were not talking about that initially, along the line, the discussion will naturally switch to women and sex. This is a fact no one can dispute.

The other day at a joint in Ikeja, my friends and I were having a drink and the topic of pubic hair in women came up. I can’t remember precisely how it all started, but one of my friends, Ehis felt it was not right for women to shave or wax their vulva completely free of hair.

“If God in His wisdom put hair in that place, there must be a reason for it,” he argued. “Why must someone be waxing it and removing hair from it all the time as if the hair is offensive?”

“I’m cool with a shaved pussy,” I responded. “I don’t see anything wrong with that. It makes the pussy clean, hygienic and attractive.”

My other friend, Chucks supported me. He even pointed out a flaw in Ehis argument. “Why you dey skin your head?” he queried pointing to his clean-shaved head. “You for leave am to grow dreadlocks because God created the hair in your head for a reason.”

Chucks and I started laughing but Ehis would not succumb. He argued that it was okay to skin the head but not the vagina.

“Why? What is the difference between head and pussy?” Chucks asked him.

“There is a difference,” Ehis answered. “Pussy is not the same as head. You can skin your head especially as a man. There is nothing there that you are exposing when you skin your head. But pussy hair covers the pussy hole, the clit and other sensitive things that ought not to be exposed. When a woman shaves off every strand of hair on the pussy, she is exposing those sensitive things to the elements.”

“Which elements?” I queried. “Something wey dey inside pants, which element is it exposed to?”

“My guy, dis your argument no sell,” Chucks told him. “Woman wey shave pussy no expose anything.

I told Ehis that hair whether on the head or pubic region and whether on a woman or man is mainly for aesthetic purpose and you lose nothing nor suffer anything by shaving it. “It boils down to choice. If a woman feels cool spotting a bald cunt all the time, so be it. Personally, I prefer a bald cunt in a woman than a bushy one. I can’t resist a well shaved, shiny pussy…”

*  *  *

We continued to argue for and against pubic hair shaving in our women but one thing we all agreed on was that shaving the pussy clean is in vogue these days among our women. Most women these days are bald down there which was a rare thing to see in those days.  As Ehis puts it, “In those days, when you strip a woman naked, her black bush is an instant source of attraction. That is the ultimate sign of sexual maturity and womanhood. But these days, when a woman takes off her clothes, it looks like you are staring at a big baby girl because the pussy is as hairless as that of a baby… To me, it’s not proper. A woman should have a mature jungle down there… “

 After all the argument and booze we had, we left the joint for our various homes. I was tipsy and horny at the same time, no thanks to all the booty talk we had at the bar.

When I got home, I showered and wanted to catch some sleep. Meanwhile, my wife took her shower after me, and whilst she was in the bathroom, I lay on my bed reading a newspaper. Reading on my bed is the easiest way for me to fall asleep and that was what I was trying to do.

I was totally engrossed in what I was reading that I didn’t notice when my wife entered the bedroom. I only became conscious of her presence when her phone that was on the dressing table rang and she immediately picked it up to answer the call.

I glanced rather unconsciously over the newspaper I was reading towards her direction and what I saw was simply spellbinding. There was my wife standing by the side of the dressing table totally naked.

That she was naked was no surprise- after all, she just had her shower and we were alone in the bedroom. But the surprise thing was the sight of her very clean, shiny vulva that looked absolutely so tantalizing.

It was obvious she did more than just having a shower in the bathroom. The last time I saw that pussy, which was the previous day, there was a moderate growth of bush on it but now, it was waxed so clean that it looked as smooth as the skin on her bum-bum. It was absolutely irresistible.

I got up from the bed with my cock also getting up in front of me. I allowed her to be through with her call before I grabbed her. Amid protests from her, I lay her on the bed, spread her legs and began to eat that glorious pussy of hers as if there was no tomorrow. She ended up having an explosive orgasm which I think she deserved.

Honestly, I think more women should go bald to grab their men’s attention in the bedroom. I don’t have the statistics, but I strongly believe there are more men in Nigeria and the world over, who love clean shaved-pussies as against those who love hairy cunts.

*This article was first published in Best Lover, Nigeria’s leading softcore sex magazine. (www.facebook.com/bestlovermagazine.) Edited and published by Jerry Olorogun (Jerry@Large.) 

EARLY MORNING SEX ON INDEPENDENCE DAY.

Like most men, I love morning sex. My wood is hardest early in the morning and the likelihood of equipment failure is zero. Of course, science tells us that the male hormone, testosterone is at its peak in a man’s body in the early hours of the day, so it doesn't surprise me that my wood like that of most men is hardest at that time of the day. In addition to the early morning wood, I’m invigorated after the night sleep and both physically and mentally I’m alert. Frankly, there isn't a better time to fuck than those early hours of the day- at least from my perspective as a male. 

Unfortunately, quite a number of factors often make that impossible chief among them is the pressure to get ready to go to work. Imagine missing an important appointment or getting late to work because of sex. Certainly, one would not like the consequences. In any case, even if one is ready, to spare some minutes to ma, madam would not buy it. She has to get the kids ready for school, prepare breakfast and prepare to go to work too. As a result, I often miss early morning sex which explains why I love public holidays. The pressure to get up and get ready for work is usually not there on public holidays. What is more, madam would not have the ready excuse of getting the kids ready for school. We could afford to get up from bed at 8am or even later compared to working days when one ought to be up from bed by 6am!

October 1^st is Nigeria’s Independence Day and few days ago was October 1^st. As always, it was a public holiday. I woke up that day before my alarm went off and as usual, my wood was up and hard. I looked over at my wife as she slept peacefully with her back facing me. I lifted the covers and looked at her nude body. (Yes, we both sleep naked.) I felt a familiar stirring inside me as I did so and I shifted closer to her. I pressed up against her with my front against her back and put my arm around her. My hand rested right on her left boob and I gently started massaging it and rolling the nipple between my fingers. I felt my cock swell even more, and it pressed up against her back.

By now my heart was beating faster as I felt myself getting more and more turned on by this. I continued to squeeze and play with her boob and nipple for several minutes, but she never moved.

Suddenly she turned over to face me and put her arms around me and started kissing me. Early morning kiss can be awful but when you’re turned on sexually and fully charged, you rarely bother about early morning foul breathe. In fact it is part of the thrill of morning sex.

My wife put her leg on top of mine, and I began exploring her body with my hand. I went up and down her back and legs and then found my way to her boobs again. I started playing with her right breast (I didn’t want the right one to feel left out!) and pretty soon she grabbed my hand and put it on her pussy. I knew that meant she was horny and wanted to cum.

Her pussy was very wet. It usually is after I play with her breasts for a while. Nothing else gets her pussy as wet as when I play with her boobs first. I began rubbing her clit as we continued to kiss. Soon she grabbed my cock and started squeezing it. Then she pulled me on top of her and guided my cock into her pussy. It felt good and wet.

She moaned as I started thrusting into her. She grabbed onto my ass and pushed me into her. I kept rubbing her clit with my hand as well which made her to moan louder.

It didn’t take long before I could tell she was close. I can always tell by her breathing that she’s about to cum. I began thrusting harder and rubbing her clit harder. Suddenly she tensed up and let out a moan that was so loud. I could tell it felt good for her. I slowed my thrusting for a minute, and we kissed. Then she grabbed my ass and pushed me into her again.

I started thrusting harder into her again. She held on to me tightly as I shoved my cock as deep as it would go into her. She moaned louder and louder as I did this and came powerfully.

I kept thrusting into her pussy, alternating between deep thrusts and short thrusts. I wanted to enjoy this as long as possible, so I didn't want to rush it. Finally, I found a good rhythm and just let her have it.

It didn't take long before I felt my orgasm building. With a few more thrusts, I felt my hot cum shoot out deep into her pussy. I shoved my cock as deep as I could to squeeze out every last drop of cum. She held on tight to me and pushed me into her.

When it was over, we laid still and kissed a couple of times. Then I whispered into her ear, “Happy Independence Day, Sweetheart.”

“Same to you dear,” she replied and added, ”Happy new month too.”

“Yeah, my sweetheart… mmuah!” I responded with a kiss to her check and simply wished that every other day in our life would be a public holiday.

*This article was first published in Best Lover, Nigeria’s leading softcore sex magazine. Edited and published by Jerry Olorogun (Jerry@Large.)

I WOULD RATHER BUY SEX THAN RAPE A WOMAN.

SOUTH AFRICA is notorious for having the highest incidents of rape cases in Africa.  Sadly, the way things are going in Nigeria, I’m afraid we will soon beat South Africa to this infamous record.  

There is hardly a day you read Nigerian newspapers that you don’t come across reported cases of rape and other forms of sexual violence against women and children. Details of some of these crimes are so mind-boggling that you wonder if the perpetrators are really humans or “animal in craze man skin” (apology to Fela.) I guess it is the latter otherwise how do you rationalize a 51 year old man defiling a 2-year old girl or a 22-year old man raping a 70-year old woman? It is plain madness.

Sex is fun and beautiful when done under an atmosphere of mutual consent and respect for each other’s rights and sensibility. Rape on the other hand is an expression of violence similar to armed robbery where you take something that does not belong to you by force. When you rape, you hurt someone not only physically but emotionally and psychologically. You will agree with me that hurting someone was not what our Creator had in mind when HE designed sex. Rape is therefore an abominable act that must not thrive among humans if we must lay claim to civilization.

NATURE appears to be conscious of how strong the sexual urge may be in man so she invented masturbation and nocturnal emission to take care of it in case we may not have the privilege to have regular sex. As if that was not enough, man and perhaps with the guidance of Nature invented prostitution to further cater for the sexual urge in man. It is therefore not an accident that prostitution is the oldest profession.

Sex with a prostitute may not sound so moral to a lot of men but it is far more honourable, legit, and justifiable than to rape a woman or defile a girl. I would rather buy sex than rape a woman and that is what I will recommend to all men. Rather than rape someone, masturbate or have protected sex with a call girl. These are better ways and Nature endorsed alternatives to take care of your sexual urge when you have no willing woman to have sex with you than to commit rape. There is simply no justification for rape or the defilement of an infant. These are acts that even animals hardly indulge in.

Above all, remember that rape has implications. In most countries today, the punishment for rape when convicted ranges from twenty years to life imprisonment. Have this in mind if for any reason you may be tempted to have sex with someone by force. Is the 5 to 10 minutes of “fun” worth spending the rest of your life in jail?

Remember also that you would not like your sister, daughter, wife or girlfriend to be raped. That lady, girl or woman you want to rape is somebody’s daughter, sister, mother, girlfriend or wife. Why do it to others if you do not want it to be done to you? Think about that.
-------------------

*This article was first published in Best Lover, Nigeria’s leading softcore sex magazine. (www.facebook.com/bestlovermagazine.) Edited and published by Jerry Olorogun (Jerry@Large.)

DATING A VERY HANDSOME MAN: ARE YOU READY FOR COMPETITION?

The dating choices you make can lead to the success or otherwise of your relationships. Dating a very handsome guy for instance can be cute and at the same time challenging. Having that Adonis that every girl idolizes all to yourself can be really fulfilling and a big boost to your self-esteem. But the flip-side is that it comes with a prize. A relationship with him is bound to throw up unique challenges you may not experience going out with Mr. Regular Guy.

For sure, dating a very handsome guy is going to bring you competition. Can you deal with the competition that comes with it? If you are easily jealous, you probably have no business dating this guy. If you walk into a public place with him, he is very likely to get some hard stares from ladies. Handsome dudes get checked out by ladies far more than regular guys. It is inevitable. He is attractive and appealing to the eyes and it is only natural to stare at something attractive. It is also natural that he would stare back howbeit briefly at those who stare at him. Sadly, you may “catch” him at that material time that he stares back at one of those ladies innocently or otherwise.   

You may be able to handle stranger ladies casting furtive glances at him on the street, at the restaurant or grocery store when you are with him but what of your friends and acquaintances? Girlfriends can be the real threat and not the ladies you found him staring at outside. What is more, you probably told your girlfriends a couple of things about your new Mr. Very Handsome even before they set eyes on him. You must have told them how hot and cute he looks before they met him. In doing that, you have brushed up his profile before them and this makes him even more desirable. Unlike the girl on the street, they probably know where he lives, where he works and where to “accidentally” run into him.

Mind you, your girlfriends may not actually be out to get him, but they will be curious about him and curiosity may lead to those vacant and lustful stares at him that could give you the goose pimples.

This guy is used to women admiring him and gazing at him. He has lived with that for years and probably been smiling back unconsciously at them over the years. It is a harmless and unconscious thing he has grown up with. Now he is going to see you as possessive or worrying over nothing when you begin to show your uneasiness over those unsolicited glances and his reaction to them.

Worse still, you may begin to distrust your friends around him and they in turn may start accusing you of acting “strange since you met this guy.” Either way, Mr. Handsome might just begin to drive a wedge between you and your friends.

Relationships are built on trusts and chances are that you are more likely to trust Mr. Average Guy than Mr. Very Handsome not for any fault of the latter, but for the simple reason of his good looks and the effect it creates on other women. When that foundation of trust is shaken owing to fear and distrust, the relationship itself begins to falter.   

Bottom-line is you must be ready for some competition (whether subtle or overt) if you are going into any long term relationship with Mr. Very Handsome. How you deal with the competition is key to the survival of the relationship. Bear in mind that his very attractive looks is bound to have a magnetic pull on other women the way it had on you when you first met him. Learning to trust him and ignoring those distractive stares from other ladies is the way to build a relationship with him. Better still, if you are the type that is easily jealous and cannot stand the inevitable competition from other ladies, it is better to avoid dating Mr. Very Handsome. In that case, the adage prevention is better than cure should be your watchword.  

WHEN YOUR EX WANTS YOU BACK: CAN YOU GIVE THEM A SECOND CHANCE?

The other day, one of my readers was worried over an issue and she sought for my advice. Her ex-boyfriend who dumped her over a year ago wanted her back desperately. She said the guy seemed remorseful and had been pleading with her for weeks to take him back. She said she was confused about what to do but admitted she still felt something for him.

It can be flattering, amusing or annoying when an ex frantically wants to come back to our lives especially if they were the ones that broke the relationship in the first place. How would you react to such a situation, bang the door on their face or accept them back in your life?

First, you have every right to be indignant with an ex who treated you badly and call it quits with you then suddenly wants to come back to your life. No one would blame you for being nasty to such an ex. You may even be justified to call the cops to get them picked up for pestering you.

However, chances are that your ex genuinely wants you this time around. They might have learned their lessons and want you back for good and make amend for what they did to you.  And guess what, you could miss having a wonderful relationship of a lifetime if you angrily cut them loose without giving them some benefit of the doubt.

But how do you know an ex who wants you back is for real or out to play you for a fool again?  Whether it was a long term relationship you had or a short one, here are some things you must put into considerations and issues you must resolve before you take a decision.  

Have a closer look at the relationship you had before it hit the rock. Who was the one footing the bills most times? Does your ex appear to have used you as his or her meal ticket? If it was a relationship where you were the one footing the bill most times, chances are high that such an ex who wants you back desperately is not coming back for genuine reasons. They could be broke and worse off financially and need you as a stopgap measure to their meal ticket.

Does your ex really know the reasons you guys broke up? Your ex must demonstrate to you he or she has a grasp of the reason(s) for the break up; the role they played and a demonstration of genuine repentance. If you are not convinced on this point, don’t let them back into your life. Mere verbal apology and an offhand appeal to let bygone be bygones with a promise to make it up for you should not assuage you to accept them back.  

Your ex must also come clean on their dating history since they left you. Why did he or she break up with the other date(s)? Insist on their telling you everything and possibly, check out what they told you. Chances are they broke up with those other dates in circumstances similar to yours. In that case, you would have established a pattern of behavior on their part and a good reason to send them packing for good.

Your ex must also be upfront on their reason for coming back. Is it just to “rock with you for old time’s sake” or out of a realization that they made a mistake in leaving and want to make amend for good? You got to establish this before you take a decision on them.

Even after your assessment and you think they qualify for a second chance, don’t plunge in headlong into the relationship. Establish a kind of probation relationship with them. This is very important especially if it had been long you broke up. You need time to observe them on their second coming and be able to decipher their intention. Very importantly, there must be no sex, no serious intimacy at this period. If they are sincere and their reasons for coming back are genuine, they will abide by your dictates.

PUSSY ALSO HAVE SIZES.*

Penis size is one of the commonest topics or issues that we talk about not only in this magazine but in the world of sexuality at large. However, for once let us change the narrative and talk about pussy size.

Pussy or vagina is an internal organ not an external one like the penis. As a result, people hardly talk about it in terms of size because they are not seeing it in totality. Some people (both men and women) actually assume that all pussies are the same in size and the issue of size has to do with the penis alone. Such a view is erroneous because vagina come in different sizes just like the penis and every other organ in our body. It is true that every vagina can stretch to accommodate any size of dick and something as big as a baby during childbirth but that does not make all of them to be of the same size.

A tall woman who is above six feet would naturally have longer arms, limps, neck, torso, vagina, etc than a short woman of around four feet. That is on a general level but since there are exceptions to every rule, we sometimes find big women having smaller vagina just as some huge men have small dicks and verse versa. We can rationalize it as variety at work in nature. The bottom line here is that just as men have different sizes of penis so do women have different sizes of vagina and you cannot use height or weight alone to determine what size they have.

It may interest you to know that some of the women who crave for very large dicks are actually women with large vagina. Because their vagina is so big, it is only natural for an equally large penis to “fill it up.” (As an aside, guys should take note of this so that they don’t allow mischievous ladies to mock them in bed and break their spirit. If she tells you your penis is too small, you might just let her know your penis is okay and the problem is her wide or big vagina.)

T

alking of measuring the vagina, the most commonly used measurements come from Masters and Johnson’s work from the 1960s. They looked at 100 women who had never been pregnant and found that vagina lengths, unstimulated, range from 2.75 inches to about 3¼ inches. When a woman is aroused, it increased to 4.25 inches to 4.75 inches.

Both human biologists and anatomists agree with these figures and they remain authoritative when talking of vagina sizes. The figures themselves show clearly that there is variety in sizes in women’s vagina whether aroused or unaroused. They can stretch to accommodate a penis of up to 9 inches or more but you will agree that a 4.75 inches vagina will- all other things equal, find it easier to stretch and accommodate a dick of 9 inches than that of a 4.25 inches. It is simple logic.

But one advantage women have over men is that they can easily make their vagina tighter or “smaller” than for a man to get his penis thicker or bigger. This can be done by working on the pelvic floor muscles. Weakness of the pelvic floor can result from injury during childbirth, numerous childbirths or due to genetic factors or nature that favours some women than others.

Women who have weak pelvic floor muscles tend to be very loose and their vaginal walls hardly grip the penis during sex. It does not necessarily mean such women have “large” vagina but it simply means that the tone of their pelvic floor is weak. In a layman’s words, we can say their “elastic” is weak. 

Kegel exercises can be very effective at strengthening these muscles and make the vagina tight and cozy. There is enough resources on Kegels on the Internet and I am not going to bore you with a lecture on Kegels. Just Google and get the stuff. 

*This article was first published in Best Lover, Nigeria’s leading softcore sex magazine. (www.facebook.com/bestlovermagazine.) Edited and published by Jerry Olorogun (Jerry@Large.)